As I write this, I am getting ready to go to the hospital to be induced to have our baby. As exciting as that is I am absolutely terrified of what having a 3rd baby means. You would think that after preparing for this the last 9 months that I would be ready but those last-minute thoughts have crept up and cemented themselves in the back of my brain to reemerge every so often this weekend. Anxiety is a horrible thing to deal with in any aspect of life but when it is pregnancy induced, at least for me, everything seems amplified. I worry about;
- The attention I will be able to give to the boys, my husband and myself.
- Being a good mother to Three kids instead of two.
- Having a girl with only experience with boys.
- The pain/ complications with Labor
- I don’t know what to expect with a tube litigation.
All these things and so much more have been running through my mind and it’s honestly making me a little batty. The only thing that has helped is to sit in a quiet room and live in the now. I can’t worry about tomorrow. I have today.
I at least feel like I have the boys ready for the baby. They have been kept in the loop through the whole pregnancy and are now excited for the actual baby to be here. As are we but I wonder about the little things that come with a baby and how the boys will acclimate. As with everything it will come with time and exposure. We did put the boys into T-ball so that they have an activity to do outside of the baby being here. Their daddy is coaching and I will try my damnedest to be at every game.
The induction was scheduled due to my history with having our boys and for scheduling purposes. The closest relative is 8 hours away so to ensure that my husband will be there for the birth of our daughter we scheduled an induction. So my parents and in-laws have come in to make sure that they boys are covered and entertained while Hubs and I are going through labor and delivery. My history if it repeats itself is long hours of no progression than “BAM” baby. Once the baby is born and everything is cleared we will have the boys come up and meet their sister. I am nervous, excited, happy and sad and just ready to get it over with. Once she is here, everything will be fine. I know that once I see her face and the boys with her that my anxiety will evaporate as it has done with the other two and my world will be complete. Until then, I ask for prayers and positive vibes to be sent our way. To think only hours separate my pregnancy self from holding my baby.
I will make sure to make a post of the birth story and our precious baby next week if not sooner.