A change would be good…..

week11    We had our ultrasound yesterday and as someone who was still in denial about the validity of this pregnancy, I can no longer deny it. It has been weird actually the amount of denial i have experienced. I have had morning sickness, I have had nausea and recently started feeling some flutters but it didn’t seem REAL until I saw that bundle of joy on the monitor of the ultrasound. Thankfully everything is healthy and my due date went from May 21 to May 17 and there is only one sweet baby. That makes me 11 weeks pregnant and very happy. As much as I would love whatever number of babies blessed to us, I am quite certain I could not handle my boys plus two newborns. And seeing as the house is still not sold, in a camper would be a nightmare. No one would sleep, not just me.  It will still be a few weeks before we find out the gender of our baby.

week112The house is and has been the bane of my existence since the day we moved. I honestly do not understand the lack of luck in selling it. We are selling it below market value, it is a small house but bigger than most apartments, has 5 acres and just outside of town. The fact that we have had two sellers pull out right before closing is also annoying. What in the hell is going on? What is the reason?

week113I WANT OUT OF THIS CAMPER….. And now that cooler weather is upon on it seems as if we will be spending another winter in the RV. Someday it will be a good story for the kids to tell their friends from school. It’s probably less about the camper and more about the fact that I am no pregnant and understand that my comfort will decline rapidly as it progresses. Even now, my lower back hurts from our bed and there is no real good place to sit comfortably in the camper on long cold days. I need somewhere that I can go and shut the door. I need some space. It feels completely unfair that we have had to live in this matchbox for so long. I don’t want this. I want a house and room and yard of my own. I want to be able to hang pictures and not feel the floor of the house move every time the wind blows. The last year and a half has sucked ass and I have tried to remain as positive as I could but I am losing that positivity fast.  We will manage, we always do. I will continue to pray and as long as the boys are happy and healthy, What can I really say? That’s what is important.

On another note, the past month I have not worked out or eaten well and still I lost 5 pounds. I have been little sick and I wish I could blame that on my laziness but let’s be real. I am being lazy. I really need to start back working out to keep soreness at bay and to remain as flexible and fit as possible. The eating has sucked because all of my cravings have been for fast food. This baby wants nothing to do with healthy foods. Dang, last night we had roast, mashed sweet potatoes and steamed vegetable medley and it was the first dinner in a while that I could actually eat all of that didn’t turn me off or make me sick. It was good. So maybe we are moving in the right direction. Lets hope so. I have come along way and expect to gain some weight but I want to gain a manageable amount of weight that I can lose again after the baby. Fingers crossed.

I also want to say how sorry I am for not being more devoted to this blog lately. I just kinda got in a slump and stopped doing everything I enjoyed. But I will try to make a more conscious effort to put myself and the things I enjoy first. With the holidays coming up, there will be more recipes, stories and goofiness from our family that I would love to share. Thank you to all that read my non-sense. LOL






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