I have been struggling lately, as everyone does when they are unhappy with the situation they are in. My mind has decided to focus and now obsess about the fact that the sale of our house fell through again. I can’t understand why? Why are we still in this Camper? why can’t we sell the house? there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. And honestly now that I have been in the camper so long I feel bad for every single time I gripped even a little bit about that house. It was good to us. Kept us warm and cool and my boys were happy and had their own room. I would go back if I could and appreciate things I never did before but hindsight is 20/20. Maybe that’s what this is all about? Learning to love the little things.
Questioning is the name of the game and I really need to stop, and enjoy this time. But I can’t help but hope for a reprieve from what has become our recurring nightmare. Oh, it’s not so bad. Just getting old. I want my King bed out of storage and my butchers block. I want the boys to have a bigger room where they can play without spilling into the living area and as it gets colder it’s only going to get worse. Honestly, I just want to decorate for the holidays. Its been two years since I did so and I WANT it.
Christmas is the main one as I love to decorate a christmas tree and watch the wonderment of the boys faces at all the pretty lights and I had high hopes of having traditions established. It scares me to think Bubbers is 5 and most children stop believing in Santa by 8. That’s only three years away. And what if we don’t get out of here? See there I go again, worrying about things I can’t control. It really is sad. As in all things, it will happen in the most unsuspecting way. Patience is key but today its a struggle.
Please do me a favor and when you say prayers tonight, put my family in them. Just a little shout out will do fine. Thanks guys. Until next time.